No Greater Love

     Today is a very special day.  On this day, ten months ago, Josh and I officially started dating.  It just sort of happened, and I couldn't be more thankful that it did.  It marked a new phase of my life.  But it wasn't so much the beginning of something as it was the continuation of my life with Josh by my side.  I don't know how I managed without him for so long!

     That being said, I just wanted to take the time to today to reflect on one aspect of young ( and old!) relationships that I find to be so vital: selflessness.  I do realize that several of the posts on this blog have been about love and selflessness.  Yet, my aim with this particular post is not to continue expounding on it, but to share a memory that I've held close to my heart for some time, a memory that I feel shows selflessness in one of its purest forms.

     This past April saw its share of tears and pain.  As I've mentioned before, Josh and I were going through a rough patch at the time.  There were hurt feelings on both sides, which made it hard to find peace within our relationship.  There were times when I'd get so upset about one thing or another that I'd take it out on Josh or completely give him the cold shoulder.  While he was and has always been the more open one, I've been the person that takes much longer to open up.

     One night, as I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep, I began to feel terrible, even more terrible than I usually felt during that difficult time.  Lying there, I felt the weight of the world crushing me, suffocating me to the point where I felt I couldn't breathe and couldn't go on.  It was a truly dark moment.  My heart was so heavy that I could have sworn it was detaching itself from inside my body and sinking to my stomach.  I felt so empty and lost, yet I hurt so much.  It was a brutal paradox.  In all my life, I don't know that I've felt more alone.

     By the grace of God, Josh happened to be hanging out with friends in my dorm that night.  He was just a floor or two beneath my own.  I remember texting him and asking if he could come to my room if it wasn't too much trouble.  Of course, he responded immediately and within minutes, he was in my room.  I remember asking him was if he would hold me until I fell asleep.  After that, all I remember is Josh squeezing into the tiny bed beside me, softly stroking my hair and comforting me until I drifted off to sleep.  Though I was still hurting, his mere presence lifted some of the heaviness from my heart, to the point where it was once again bearable.

     Looking back, I realize that the night could have been so much different had Josh not been there.  I praise God that he was there for me then and has continually been there for me.  Time and time again, Josh has showed me what it means to be truly selfless.  He's shown me how to love unconditionally and without limit.  Josh could have chosen to ignore my texts that night.  He certainly would have had every reason to.  I had treated him terribly so many times during that period in our relationship.  Yet, Josh chose to drop what he doing and come to my rescue.  It was beautiful.  

     Even after all these months, that memory still makes me tear up.  It reminds me of John 15:13, which says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."  Josh may not have literally sacrificed his life, but he set aside his hurts and his needs and instead chose to focus on mine.  THAT is selflessness.  THAT is sacrifice.  By lying next to me while I fell asleep, Josh was sacrificing "self".  He was completely taking "self" out of the equation.  And that is exactly what makes relationships work, the ability to set aside your own needs and meet your partner's.

     Selflessness has been one of the most valuable things that Josh has taught me over these past ten months.  You can't have true love without it.  If you never put "self" aside, you'll never know the true, lasting love that Christ desires us to have in all our relationships.  And I must tell you, it is a beautiful, pure love.  It is a love that completely changes your way of thinking as well as living.

Accepting One Another

     You want to know one of the things I love most about Josh?  The fact that he ACCEPTS me.  He has always accepted me just as I am, quirks and all.  But he doesn't accept me in spite of of my quirks.  He accepts and loves me because of them, because they are as much a part of me as my hands and feet.

     In so many relationships, couples simply learn to put up with each other's quirks and habits.  This is fine for short term relationships, but in the long term, it becomes problematic.  You see, when we merely put up with our significant other's habits, we aren't loving them as are.  We aren't valuing their unique personality.  Thus, our love is somewhat conditional.  It's like saying, "Honey, I love you except for the fact that you (insert habit here)."  This is fine and dandy if you're not looking for any kind of serious commitment, but in long term relationships, it simply won't work.

     I'm not saying that you have to love your partner's habit of leaving trails of socks or speaking with his or her mouth full of food.  What I am saying is that it is vital to love your partner for who they are.  Their unusual or quirky habits are what make them who they are just as your habits make you who you are.  My mom used to quote, "Watch your habits, for they become character."  How right she was!  Our habits are what reveal our character.  The boyfriend or husband that leaves his socks everywhere has probably always been more of a laid-back kind of guy, and there's nothing wrong with that!  It's simply who he is.

     Sure, you may wish he didn't leave his socks everywhere, but it's important to remember that he's still the same laid-back guy you fell in love with, perhaps just a bit more laid-back than before.  Of course, if his sock habit bugs you, there's also nothing wrong with calmly confronting him about it and constantly reminding him to put his socks where they belong.  Obviously, it's easier said than done, but it's something that we should all strive for in our relationships.  After all, clear, calm communication exists in every healthy, thriving relationship.  

     Like all couples, Josh and I can get pretty impatient with each other at times.  Yet, we are always pushing forward and strengthening our lines of communication.  We are always striving to unconditionally accept and love each other.  Every now and then, I'll ask Josh something like "What if I got this pierced?" or "What if I dyed my hair this color?"  Most guys would probably flip out or criticize me.  Not Josh.  He has always responded in love.  He'll tell me his thoughts first and then make it clear that my decisions are my own and he'll support and love me no matter what.  If that's not unconditional love, I don't know what is.

     Once, when I "dyed" my hair with blue hair chalk, I actually shocked Josh.  At first, he didn't know what to say about my blue streaked hair.  Finally, he told me that he had loved my natural hair color as it was, but said that my new blue streaks would probably grow on him and that I had beautiful hair no matter what color it was.  Another time, I got another piercing on one of my ears, which also surprised Josh, but he told me that the more he looked at me and my new piercing, the more he actually like it.  He's even told me that it looks cute on me because it's become a part of me.

     I used these examples to give you a clear idea of what I mean when I say that it is important for couples to accept and love each other's uniqueness.  Though Josh may not always agree with what I say and do, he always makes it perfectly clear that he loves me for ME.  He doesn't just love me when I agree with him nor does he just love me and put up with my quirks.  He loves me completely and unconditionally, just as I love him.

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

The Little Things

     I'd love to offer you some great piece of financial wisdom or some secret to a lasting relationship, but I can't.  I can't not because I am incapable of doing so, but because I seem to excel more at sharing my raw, unfiltered experiences and feelings.  If you haven't already noticed, Josh is the more practical one in the relationship, and I absolutely love him for it.  One of us has to keep the other grounded and that person tends to be Josh.
     Before I go any further, I must say that this post will probably be considerately shorter than the others that Josh and I have written.  In a way, the smallness of this post ties in perfectly with what I'm about to say.  I could always say so much more, but there are some things words cannot express.
     For as long as I can remember, I've had this one quote stuck to several of my Pinterest boards.  It's always been one of my favorite quotes.  It says, "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things."  It's simple enough and easy to grasp.  But how many of us can truly say that we live by this quote?  I know I don't, though I certainly try.  We can speed through our lives, never remembering to stop and enjoy every moment.  It's only after those precious moments have long passed that we realize just how precious they are to us.
     I had one of those precious moments just yesterday.  After Josh and I went to church, we took time to read various relationship books as well as quote some of our favorite Bible verses.  A while later, when we were working on our join blog post, John Legend's "All of Me" started playing in the background.  At that point, Josh stopped typing, and we both looked at each other.  No words were needed.  We didn't need to tell each other what we were feeling.  We already knew.  I'll never forget that moment.  It was so perfect and inexplicably beautiful.  As Josh began to softly sing the lyrics to me, I practically melted into his embrace, tears rolling down both of our faces.  And even through the tears, he kept softly singing into my ear.
     I don't say all of this to make you think that we're the most amazing couple ever and that it's all sunshine and rainbows for us because it's not.  In fact, we've often had to sing through the tears in our relationship (metaphorically speaking) just to make it through.  I've shared this story to remind you that little moments like this are what we should live for.  They're what we should remember and hold onto in even the darkest of times.  That moment that Josh and I shared will be one that I'll take with me to the grave.  It may seem inconsequential to some, but I was fortunate enough to recognize it's beauty as it happened.  I was able to cherish it and truly savor it before it became a part of the past.
     If there's one thing I want you to take away from this post, it's that time is fleeting.  We don't even know if we'll be here tomorrow.  Thus, it's all the more important to make the most of the time we have left and recognize the inherent value of the little things in life.
 

The "Gushy" Love Post You Knew Was Coming

     I chose the title of this post to forewarn you that I may get a little too lovey-dovey at times while talking about my relationship with Josh.  However, let me first start off by saying that I'm the girl that used to roll her eyes at couples who constantly posted pictures of themselves together and constantly talked about each other.  When I began dating Josh, I was no longer that girl.  I became the girl that was proud of her amazing boyfriend and wanted to incessantly talk about him.  However, as much as I love Josh, I'm still considerate of my friends and family and know not to irritate them by rambling on about how much I just love him.  I could talk all day and night about him, but I know better.

     That being said, I don't think it's healthy to hide your feelings for your significant other.  If I could shout to the world how much I love Josh, I would do it in a heartbeat.  This is probably why the following quote by John Lennon is so powerful to me:

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

     I find it sad how talking about your love for someone often leads to criticism, particularly in the case of young adults like myself.  What's so wrong with being open about your feelings?  Why is it taboo for young people to honestly and tactfully express their love for their significant other?

     "Oh, that's just puppy love!" some say.
 
     "It won't last," others insist.

     Well with that defeatist attitude it probably won't.  Older adults can criticize all they want, but can they really insist that real, honest-to-God love doesn't exist for young couples?  Is that really fair?  They can poke fun at young lovers , but can anyone really say whether it will or won't last?  While it is true that there are older couples who are far mature than us, I would go so far as to say that Josh and I are more mature in our dating relationship than many couples are in their marriage.  Sadly, I've met plenty of married adults who, at times, can be just as immature as some of my college friends.

     I'll admit that Josh and I have been through things that could cripple the average marriage.  Yet, we've made it through and come out stronger.  We've come out stronger as individuals and stronger in our relationship.  In fact, in the nine months that we've dated, we've grown so much closer to each other and to Christ in just this last month.  If that's not powerful, enduring love, I don't know what is.  The various things we've gone through in the past may have been extremely painful and taxing on our relationship, but one thing has always remained constant: our devotion to one another.

     Had you talked to me several months ago, I would have told you that I love Josh and knew something was special about him.  Talk to me today, and you'll get a much different answer.  I'll not just tell you that I love Josh, I'll actually explain the reasons why.  And I'll keep explaining until you force me to stop.  That's one of the many differences between then and now.  I knew I loved Josh then, but I couldn't coherently explain why.  I'll never be able to fully explain the deep, unbreakable connection that we have, but today, I can explain why we fell in love and why I still love him with all of my heart.

     It is this unbreakable connection, this beautiful, powerful love that I have for Josh that makes me bold enough to say that he is the one for me.  He is and has always been the one for me.  I may not be able to say that as much as I'd like, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  In spite of all my mistakes and all my shortcomings, God has continually poured His grace and blessings upon me, one of those blessings being Josh.  Together, we are overcoming the trials of our youth and working towards a bright future.  We are working towards marriage and are excited for that sacred day.  Yes, we are young.  Yes, we have our whole lives ahead of us.  And yes, we have much to learn.  But we're preparing ourselves for whatever life throws at us.  We may just be "youngsters", but we know what we want, we're willing to work for it, and we're going to do it together.

From Josh and Marisa--Why Getting Married (Young) is a Good Thing

Just to clarify, this post is from Josh and Marisa.

It's probably not a mystery to anyone reading our posts that we think getting married young would be a good thing not just for ourselves, but our families, the church, and the community too. If you aren't biblically rooted (not that we are super-Christians or anything), you probably would disagree with us. Society tells young men and women that they ought to wait 10 or 15 years out of high school before they should even consider being married, yet culture and the media creates a hyper-sexualized atmosphere in which young people are supposed to live in the weird paradox of young, pre-martial sex being "ok" but young marriage being taboo.

Obviously getting married young is not for everyone. Marriage is about sacrifice and selflessness. However, the sacrifice in marriage doesn't have to be something that compromises your happiness. Eric Teetsel, executive director of The Manhattan Declaration, a Christian advocacy organization, writes in this article in Christian Post Magazine about how the church and society needs to reemphasize the importance of marriage amongst our youth, stressing that getting married young is a blessing, not a curse where a person resigns their liberty or joy.

"I think the church should do a better job of teaching the civic necessity of marriage, and how it is a sacrificial act, in many ways, but not in terms of sacrificing your own freedom or happiness, but giving yourself in order to contribute to the common good, in both your community and of the country."

Two of the most crucial ingredients in the success of any marriage, but especially young marriage, are maturity and selflessness. We'd actually argue that without maturity and selflessness, no marriage can survive or thrive. The reason why put selflessness after maturity is because without maturity, one cannot be selfless. 

The issue with society, especially American society, is that people honestly believe that marrying later in life is the correct thing to do. Another article in Christian Post interviews Ted Cunningham, the author of Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage. Maturity in Cunningham's eyes is a necessity before getting married, but maturity can be acquired in youth.

"There's a certain level of maturity, life responsibility and one's walk with Jesus that should be considered when assessing someone's preparedness for marriage."

That's why maturity, in our opinion, comes before developing a selfless attitude. One needs to be mature in their walk in Christ and prepared for the storms of life before they can seriously say that they are selfless and willing to give themselves for the benefit of their wife, family, community, church, and nation.

Selflessness is a difficult trait to acquire, especially later in life after you are used to living your own way, apart from the desires and needs of a spouse and family. Cunningham perfectly summarizes one of society's main objections to the idea of young marriage: independence.

"Personally, I just believe that independence has become a socially acceptable term for selfishness," he said. "'You need more time to live for yourself' and that's not the Gospel. Our life in Christ is 'deny yourself.'"

Cunningham is spot on with his assessment of why this objection is unbiblical and, frankly, illogical. Cunningham is saddened by the modern movement of churches and families telling their children that they basically need to get through college, travel, get a job, and save money--or basically learn to be independent. In many ways, the concern of ensuring a person's ability to be independent is not unfounded. People are often concerned that if a young marriage fails the couple will not know how to survive independently. Society (including churches and families) lets fear dominate their demands for their children regarding marriage... "don't get married young, you need to learn to survive alone first."

While the concern of couples getting divorced is legitimate, teaching people they need to be independent and then telling them they need to get married and become co-dependent is, in our opinion, one of the reasons so many marriages fail. When people are taught to be independent, they learn what they like and dislike, what they want to do with their spare time, what they want their lives to look like, and how they want to achieve their goals. In short, people learn to only care for themselves when they are single and independent for extended period of time in their early adulthood. How are young couples supposed to survive the compromise and conflict-resolution that marriage (and life) requires if they are only taught to care for themselves?

People who only know how to live by themselves and are set in their ways are likely to be terrible spouses and doomed to a failed marriage. It takes weeks to break a bad habit. Imagine how long and hard it is to break what essentially becomes a personality characteristic--selfishness. In addition to living independetly, Teetsel and Cunningham both argue that being pure with our God-given urges in youth to have sex with our spouse in a society that says you are not ready to marry until you are in your late 20s or early 30s is virtually impossible, if not detrimental emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If men and women were designed by God to peak in their hormonal level and sexual desire in their late teens and early 20s, why would God not want them to marry until their late 20s? Living the single-life until society deems you are ready to marry is not only destructive by teaching people to live selfishly, but also damaging because men and women often unfortunately bring emotional baggage from the sexual sins of their past (multiple sexual partners, an addiction to pornography, etc.).

To an extent, the sexual urges God gives us (for the first time) in our youth is to allow us to survive the temptation of pre-martial sex in order to make the blessing of sex within marriage all the more awesome! However, we by no means believe God wants young people to remain abstinent for 10 or 15 years after those urges first arrive.

So basically we live in a culture that doesn't want young people to have sex before marriage, yet tells them that they need to wait, be independent, acquire sexual and emotional baggage, and be selfish before they should even think about getting married. Makes a lot of sense, huh? This may sound harsh, but it's the honest-to-God truth.

We want to now show you why we believe that we are ready for marriage in the near future. If you are a young couple interested in the idea of marriage and your thoughts line up with ours, odds are you may be too, despite what society says. The following lists are just three of the many things that Josh thinks would make Marisa ready for marriage and three things Marisa thinks would make Josh ready for marriage:

Marisa:

1. She focuses on trying to be completely selfless. Everything she does is for my benefit, her parents' benefit, or society's benefit. Just the other day she encouraged me to volunteer with her at a local homeless shelter on our anniversary. Even a day dedicated to us was used to benefit others! (See the photo on the right.) 
2. Marisa is rooted in the Bible, which will allow for our relationship to flourish correctly in the God-given way it should. We were both raised on the Bible and both fell away from God for a season at the start of college, but due to the trials we've had (God's wake up calls in life) we have grown deeper in our love for Him and for each other. It's a blessing have a woman of the Lord in my life, someone I can rely on for emotional help and support, and someone who will support and encourage me in everything I do! 
3. Marisa is mature beyond her years. We both know young marriage is a challenge, and she is willing to work with me to prepare for the journey. Marisa faithfully reads God's word and reads books on marriage and living according to God's plan. She knows there will be trials and storms ahead, and instead of doing the normal thing adolescents (and many adults do) which is to ignore that fact and just have fun, she actively desires to prepare herself for the journey ahead, which includes planning for both the roadblocks and the treasures that she'll encounter on the way. 

Josh:

1. He is the ultimate encourager. Even when I've been at my lowest point, he's built me back up with not only words of affirmation, but words of love. Many people tend to shy away from those facing hardships, fearing that they'll say or do the wrong thing.  Not Josh, though. He always seems to know exactly what to say.
2. He is a natural conflict resolver. There have been times in our relationship when we've had pretty heated arguments and times when I've unintentionally hurt him with my words. Yet, he has always been quick to diffuse the disagreement and irritation between us. He has always been quick to calm me down and work towards a solution. It's a quality that I'm working on for myself and one that any person would be blessed to find in their significant other. 
3. He never fails to be upfront and honest. Honesty has always been important to Josh. Ask him a question, and he'll answer you truthfully. Of the various things he has taught me in our relationship, one of the most important is honesty. He's taught me to be open and honest with not just him, but myself. If something's bugging me inside or outside of our relationship, he always encourages me to confide in him. This has been one of the saving graces of our relationship. The straightforward honesty between us is beautiful and has helped us make it through even the most difficult trials together.

If you are a young couple and you line up with these answers, odds are you are like us and probably wanting (and nearly ready) to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend. We are by no means a perfect example, but we do hope to show you that there is a very valid reason to wanting to get married early for both of us. In addition to our personal reasons, here is a list of a few of the benefits that we and many other Christian experts on dating and marriage believe young married couples can receive if they get married young:

• Growing up and growing old together: with a very minimal past, it's easier for younger couples to grow and thrive together. Anyone in a relationship brings baggage to the table. The question is how much baggage will there be? Will you have a backpack from just having some family problems, or will you have a trunk full of your past sexual and emotional transgressions? By marrying young, you develop a history together, something that you can cherish and use to build your relationship, not something that haunts you. 
• Not being selfish, but selfless:  as we mentioned earlier, marrying young means that individuals within a marriage are not well established in their own patterns of how they want to live out the details of their life (e.g. when they watch TV, where they go on vacation, et cetera). Obviously you want to be compatible with your spouse and share generally the same dreams and goals, but it is impossible to find someone who will match you 100% on every aspect of your likes and dislikes. Marrying young allows you to learn to be selfless and devote yourself to your spouse and family, conceding on aspects of your life that you may not have given up so easily in the future after living life on your own for many years.
• You are fighting for holiness: as this author puts it in his #2 reason to get married young, God has given us a better and meaningful plan to enjoy sex within the confines of a fruitful marriage. However, modern culture embraces sexual impurity, and unless you live under a rock, the temptations of sexual impurity may wind up being an extremely destructive force in your life. 
• The satisfaction of a spouse and family: again, that same author raises a valid point in his #5 reason to get married young. You can want to travel the world, be successful in your career, and live life the way you want to live it all you want, but in the end you'll just feel empty. God has called us to living a life of sacrifice, placing the needs of others before our own. If we are supposed to do this in every area of our lives, a good place to start would be to make sacrifices and serve the needs of our spouses and families. Marriage and raising kids is not a simple task, young or old, but the rewards of being faithful in your service and selflessness are beyond any gratifications that money, travel, or material success provide. 

Summary: The ways of the world have, unfortunately, dominated modern thinking in the church and the family about the idea of marriage. People believe young marriages are ignorant, naive, solely for sex, and doomed to failure. God has blessed us with marriage, and wants to use marriage to teach us how to live our lives. We are called to be selfless, dying to self for the benefit of others. It is easiest to learn this skill with the wife or husband of our youth--someone you love, cherish, and respect--and then apply to all other areas of our life. It is nearly impossible to do the inverse, where you learn to be selfish by living independently and then must break yourself of your ways for your spouse and family. 

God encourages men to "rejoice in the wife of their youth" (and I am sure he encourages wives to do the same with their husbands). We must refocus, individually and as a society, on not condemning young marriage, but encouraging it for those who are ready to fulfill God's plan for their lives. We want to leave you with the following scripture as something to reflect on, as it is a scripture that we both are excited to fulfill through marriage: 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

You Always Know What You Have

     "You never know what you have until you lose it."  I used to believe in that quote wholeheartedly.  It's always resonated with me.  That is, until I stumbled upon another quote the other day that made so much more sense.  It said, "You always know what you have.  You just never think you'll lose it."  It was like a lightning bolt struck me.  Something I had always believed to be true was actually wrong.  Of course I've been wrong about many things in my lifetime, but I've always felt like loss truly showed a person what they had.

     After sitting at my computer for a few minutes, questioning everything I'd held as truth, I decided that the second quote was the more accurate of the two.  There have been many times, even recently, when I've lost or almost lost something or someone, only to realize at that point how much I treasured them.  Looking back, I can now see how wrong I was.  I had always treasured that something or someone, but I grew so complacent and so comfortable that I never considered losing them.  At the time, losing them was unfathomable, it was a thought that never crossed my mind.
     I want you to understand one thing: Complacency can be dangerous.  We can get so caught up in routine, so wrapped up in feigned normalcy that we fail to see what's crumbling before our very eyes.  We often don't see until it's too late.  If this has ever happened to you, don't feel bad.  We've all experienced it.  In fact, it's a part of being human.
     However, it's by no means an easy lesson to learn, especially in relationships.  I can't think of how many times I've taken my loved ones for granted.  I can't even  think of how many times I've taken Josh for granted.  Unfortunately, it sometimes takes you losing or almost losing someone before you finally open your eyes and recognize the lie you've been living.  I know this lesson all too well, and I've had to learn it the hard way.
     That being said, I urge you to take a moment and think about the things you love.  Think about the people you love.  Are you taking them for granted?  Do you think you'll never lose them?  If so, then it's time to reevaluate.  You need to strive to always remember why you love what you love because in an instant, it could be stripped away from you.  In the blink of an eye, your loved one could be gone.
     I know that's not a pleasant thought, and I'm not saying you should live your life fearing that the people you love will be taken from you.  What I am saying is that you need to refuse to take the people you love for granted.  It's an easy trap to fall into, so you always have to be on guard.  You will fail at times, yes, but what matters is that you always get back to the place where you should be in your relationships.
     Now is the time to start appreciating what we have before it becomes something we used to have.  Now is the time to stop taking our loved ones for granted and start remembering how blessed we are to have them.  For all we know, they could be gone tomorrow.  Treasure them while you can and never forget that true happiness can be found by appreciating and thanking God for what we already have.

Introduction--Marisa

Howdy!

     My name is Marisa, and I'm a Communication major at Texas A&M.  I've lived in Texas all my life and chose A&M because it felt like home and still does.  As Josh mentioned in his introductory post, we are both members of the prestigious Cornerstone Program.  It was this program that drew me to A&M and allowed me to make like-minded, life-long friends.  It was through this program that Josh and I met and where are story began.

     Josh told you the story of how we went out dancing as friends and came back as something more.  I'm going to go a little further back...

     Our story began via Facebook.  Yes, FACEBOOK.  You see, Josh, being the go-getter that he is, created a Facebook page for the incoming Cornerstone members.  Of course me and my technologically impaired self couldn't figure out how to join the group, so I had to add Josh on Facebook, bite back my pride, and ask for help.  Being the gentleman that he is, he obliged.  Our first interaction was as follows:

Me: "Hi! Thank you for accepting my friend request. I'm just messaging to ask how I join the Cornerstone Facebook group. I received an email from Dr. Curtis about it, but don't know how to join."

Josh: "I added you. I hope this helps!"

Me: "Thank you! See ya in the fall."

It was fate. Well... that might not be the best example. Let me fast forward a bit more. It was my third day at A&M. A bunch of us Cornerstoners somehow got onto the subject of how much we love Whataburger, and four of us, including Josh and I, decided to make a midnight run for some good ol' fashion burgers (or a chicken sandwich in my case). It was all fun and games until I went to the restroom. I went to wash my hands, and when I returned, Josh and the other two members of our party were nowhere to be found. Seated at the table we had just been sitting at were a bunch of random Aggies. Tough girl that I am, I made my way outside where I found the three of them laughing hysterically. The joke was on them though since I wasn't fazed and one of them had apparently been relegated to the position of purse holder (my purse of course).

That was one of my very first impressions of Josh. The fact that he was crazy enough to make a trek to Whataburger in the middle of the night with a bunch of people he just met convinced me that he was the spontaneous, adventurous type, two qualities that I've always valued in a person.

Fast forwarding a bit more, I remember sitting in a friend's room one night, listening as said friend rambled on about all things philosophy. I was sitting on a bunk bed and Josh on the floor. I had completely tuned out of the conversation long ago, but Josh kept throwing in his comments every now and then. After a while I couldn't help but watch him as he talked. He had (and still has) this crazy, contagious smile that seems to suck you in every time you look at him. On top of that, he has a MEGA contagious laugh that could make even the most stoic of characters laugh right along with him. He has, as my roommate once put it, "the greatest laugh ever".

Now I'll fast forward to the final scene. Josh and two other friends were sitting in my room, waiting for me as I got ready to go out dancing. It was THE night, the one that Josh talked about in his first post. It was the night that truly started it all. I had invited him to go out dancing with me because he seemed like the cool, spontaneous type. What I'll never forget is how I felt while getting ready. In a word, I felt exhilarated. I subconsciously felt that the night was going to memorable, though I didn't know why at the time. Maybe I was just nervous. I mean, there I was getting ready to go out dancing with a guy that I hadn't even known for that long. Talk about taking a leap of faith. As I finished getting ready, I remember looking over at Josh. He was talking to our friends, but his eyes kept drifting back to me. I couldn't decide whether he was checking me out or wondering what kind of girl I was apart from the rest of our posse. Regardless, I was flattered by his attention.

And my gut feeling was right. That night was memorable. It was perfect actually. To this day, Josh still wonders why I asked him to go dancing with me, he still wonders why I leaned back into his arm when we sat down and grabbed his hand on the way back to our dorms. To be honest, I don't know. Something about it all felt right. I felt like I could be myself with Josh. I didn't need to pretend to be someone I wasn't just to impress him or make him like me. He just DID, and that made all the difference.

Okay, so I'm sure you must be wondering why I told you a bunch of random "first impression" stories about Josh. I can't simplify my point any more than by saying that big things often have small beginnings. That was the case with Josh and I. What started out as a random Facebook message and a midnight trip to Whataburger turned into something much, much bigger. I find it amazing that a guy who, just last year, was a complete stranger now means the world to me. It's truly beautiful how God brings about change in our lives. We find ourselves going places we never dreamed we'd go, meeting and falling in love with people we would have never imagined ourselves with.

If I was given the opportunity to change one thing about my past, I wouldn't. Are there things I wish I would've done differently or things I wish I wouldn't have done at all? Most definitely! Yet, I know that the trials I've faced have made me who I am today and have led me to the most amazing people, one of those people being Josh. Had I never chosen A&M, had I never joined the Cornerstone program, had I never invited Josh to go out dancing with me, we probably wouldn't be together today. We wouldn't have the beautiful memories that we've made together over these past nine months of dating. Our lives are so intertwined that we might not even have the same friends we have today had we never met.

In conclusion, I'd just like to say that God knows what He's doing, and He knows what's best for each of us. He ultimately uses all our pain, all our anxiety, and all our stupid decisions for good. All we have to do is lean on Him and rely on His infinite wisdom. In fact, Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."  Every day, I understand this verse more and more.  I've come to realize, particularly during times of extreme pain, that God is working in my life, stripping away the old and revealing the new.  All I have to do is lean on Him and have faith that He's leading me to better things.  He has blessings prepared for all of us if we choose to let him guide us.