No Greater Love

     Today is a very special day.  On this day, ten months ago, Josh and I officially started dating.  It just sort of happened, and I couldn't be more thankful that it did.  It marked a new phase of my life.  But it wasn't so much the beginning of something as it was the continuation of my life with Josh by my side.  I don't know how I managed without him for so long!

     That being said, I just wanted to take the time to today to reflect on one aspect of young ( and old!) relationships that I find to be so vital: selflessness.  I do realize that several of the posts on this blog have been about love and selflessness.  Yet, my aim with this particular post is not to continue expounding on it, but to share a memory that I've held close to my heart for some time, a memory that I feel shows selflessness in one of its purest forms.

     This past April saw its share of tears and pain.  As I've mentioned before, Josh and I were going through a rough patch at the time.  There were hurt feelings on both sides, which made it hard to find peace within our relationship.  There were times when I'd get so upset about one thing or another that I'd take it out on Josh or completely give him the cold shoulder.  While he was and has always been the more open one, I've been the person that takes much longer to open up.

     One night, as I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep, I began to feel terrible, even more terrible than I usually felt during that difficult time.  Lying there, I felt the weight of the world crushing me, suffocating me to the point where I felt I couldn't breathe and couldn't go on.  It was a truly dark moment.  My heart was so heavy that I could have sworn it was detaching itself from inside my body and sinking to my stomach.  I felt so empty and lost, yet I hurt so much.  It was a brutal paradox.  In all my life, I don't know that I've felt more alone.

     By the grace of God, Josh happened to be hanging out with friends in my dorm that night.  He was just a floor or two beneath my own.  I remember texting him and asking if he could come to my room if it wasn't too much trouble.  Of course, he responded immediately and within minutes, he was in my room.  I remember asking him was if he would hold me until I fell asleep.  After that, all I remember is Josh squeezing into the tiny bed beside me, softly stroking my hair and comforting me until I drifted off to sleep.  Though I was still hurting, his mere presence lifted some of the heaviness from my heart, to the point where it was once again bearable.

     Looking back, I realize that the night could have been so much different had Josh not been there.  I praise God that he was there for me then and has continually been there for me.  Time and time again, Josh has showed me what it means to be truly selfless.  He's shown me how to love unconditionally and without limit.  Josh could have chosen to ignore my texts that night.  He certainly would have had every reason to.  I had treated him terribly so many times during that period in our relationship.  Yet, Josh chose to drop what he doing and come to my rescue.  It was beautiful.  

     Even after all these months, that memory still makes me tear up.  It reminds me of John 15:13, which says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."  Josh may not have literally sacrificed his life, but he set aside his hurts and his needs and instead chose to focus on mine.  THAT is selflessness.  THAT is sacrifice.  By lying next to me while I fell asleep, Josh was sacrificing "self".  He was completely taking "self" out of the equation.  And that is exactly what makes relationships work, the ability to set aside your own needs and meet your partner's.

     Selflessness has been one of the most valuable things that Josh has taught me over these past ten months.  You can't have true love without it.  If you never put "self" aside, you'll never know the true, lasting love that Christ desires us to have in all our relationships.  And I must tell you, it is a beautiful, pure love.  It is a love that completely changes your way of thinking as well as living.

When the Extraordinary Becomes Ordinary

For those of you in love with the person you believe God has placed in your life, I am sure you feel the same sort of happiness and completeness that Marisa and I feel. Love according to God's plan is something extraordinary and something that He has promised us in his word.

Some people are able and practicing living and loving according to God's plan and have a blessed and fulfilled life. However, many more people have relationships where the extraordinary becomes ordinary. Marisa wrote in this post about how we and everyone have points in their relationships where they take their significant other for granted. It's easy to forget that our spouse is a blessing and was constructed in God's perfect image. When we forget how truly special our significant other is, the extraordinary that God has blessed us with in our lives becomes ordinary.

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Marisa and I were blessed yesterday to hear a sermon taught by by a pastor at Ecclesia in Houston. The pastor spoke about how God uses the ordinary in our lives sometimes to be the way we hear him. Christ chose 12 ordinary men to be his disciples. God used ordinary loaves and fishes to feed the multitudes. What we think may be ordinary in our lives is always a blessing that God has given us.

Considering your spouse "ordinary" is not a good thing and not something I would encourage to make you feel better connected to them. My point in writing this post is to show you that if your spouse is now just a part of your routine or if you have become to take them for granted, God can use your routine and "ordinaryness" to transform your relationship. Sometimes it takes thinking someone or something is ordinary to realize how truly powerful and amazing it is when we finally reach the realization that what we once took for granted is awesome, a blessing, and cannot be taken for granted.

Taking each other for granted and considering each other "ordinary" and "part of a routine" is what nearly destroyed Marisa's and my relationship. However, through the tough circumstances that we have recently endured forever, we both realize now that what we once held as "ordinary" in our lives--each other--is actually the most extraordinary, fantastic, and wholesome blessing God has given both of us in our lives.

The reason I titled this post "When the Extraordinary Becomes Ordinary" is because that's how many relationships end. People often take God's blessings in our lives as granted. Our spouses are not "ordinary," but whenever we fall into a routine of ordinary things God uses the ordinary as his Holy ground for showing you the beauty of his presence and image. Are you listening and looking around in your life for how the "ordinary" is actually "extraordinary?"

The Little Things

     I'd love to offer you some great piece of financial wisdom or some secret to a lasting relationship, but I can't.  I can't not because I am incapable of doing so, but because I seem to excel more at sharing my raw, unfiltered experiences and feelings.  If you haven't already noticed, Josh is the more practical one in the relationship, and I absolutely love him for it.  One of us has to keep the other grounded and that person tends to be Josh.
     Before I go any further, I must say that this post will probably be considerately shorter than the others that Josh and I have written.  In a way, the smallness of this post ties in perfectly with what I'm about to say.  I could always say so much more, but there are some things words cannot express.
     For as long as I can remember, I've had this one quote stuck to several of my Pinterest boards.  It's always been one of my favorite quotes.  It says, "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things."  It's simple enough and easy to grasp.  But how many of us can truly say that we live by this quote?  I know I don't, though I certainly try.  We can speed through our lives, never remembering to stop and enjoy every moment.  It's only after those precious moments have long passed that we realize just how precious they are to us.
     I had one of those precious moments just yesterday.  After Josh and I went to church, we took time to read various relationship books as well as quote some of our favorite Bible verses.  A while later, when we were working on our join blog post, John Legend's "All of Me" started playing in the background.  At that point, Josh stopped typing, and we both looked at each other.  No words were needed.  We didn't need to tell each other what we were feeling.  We already knew.  I'll never forget that moment.  It was so perfect and inexplicably beautiful.  As Josh began to softly sing the lyrics to me, I practically melted into his embrace, tears rolling down both of our faces.  And even through the tears, he kept softly singing into my ear.
     I don't say all of this to make you think that we're the most amazing couple ever and that it's all sunshine and rainbows for us because it's not.  In fact, we've often had to sing through the tears in our relationship (metaphorically speaking) just to make it through.  I've shared this story to remind you that little moments like this are what we should live for.  They're what we should remember and hold onto in even the darkest of times.  That moment that Josh and I shared will be one that I'll take with me to the grave.  It may seem inconsequential to some, but I was fortunate enough to recognize it's beauty as it happened.  I was able to cherish it and truly savor it before it became a part of the past.
     If there's one thing I want you to take away from this post, it's that time is fleeting.  We don't even know if we'll be here tomorrow.  Thus, it's all the more important to make the most of the time we have left and recognize the inherent value of the little things in life.
 

You Always Know What You Have

     "You never know what you have until you lose it."  I used to believe in that quote wholeheartedly.  It's always resonated with me.  That is, until I stumbled upon another quote the other day that made so much more sense.  It said, "You always know what you have.  You just never think you'll lose it."  It was like a lightning bolt struck me.  Something I had always believed to be true was actually wrong.  Of course I've been wrong about many things in my lifetime, but I've always felt like loss truly showed a person what they had.

     After sitting at my computer for a few minutes, questioning everything I'd held as truth, I decided that the second quote was the more accurate of the two.  There have been many times, even recently, when I've lost or almost lost something or someone, only to realize at that point how much I treasured them.  Looking back, I can now see how wrong I was.  I had always treasured that something or someone, but I grew so complacent and so comfortable that I never considered losing them.  At the time, losing them was unfathomable, it was a thought that never crossed my mind.
     I want you to understand one thing: Complacency can be dangerous.  We can get so caught up in routine, so wrapped up in feigned normalcy that we fail to see what's crumbling before our very eyes.  We often don't see until it's too late.  If this has ever happened to you, don't feel bad.  We've all experienced it.  In fact, it's a part of being human.
     However, it's by no means an easy lesson to learn, especially in relationships.  I can't think of how many times I've taken my loved ones for granted.  I can't even  think of how many times I've taken Josh for granted.  Unfortunately, it sometimes takes you losing or almost losing someone before you finally open your eyes and recognize the lie you've been living.  I know this lesson all too well, and I've had to learn it the hard way.
     That being said, I urge you to take a moment and think about the things you love.  Think about the people you love.  Are you taking them for granted?  Do you think you'll never lose them?  If so, then it's time to reevaluate.  You need to strive to always remember why you love what you love because in an instant, it could be stripped away from you.  In the blink of an eye, your loved one could be gone.
     I know that's not a pleasant thought, and I'm not saying you should live your life fearing that the people you love will be taken from you.  What I am saying is that you need to refuse to take the people you love for granted.  It's an easy trap to fall into, so you always have to be on guard.  You will fail at times, yes, but what matters is that you always get back to the place where you should be in your relationships.
     Now is the time to start appreciating what we have before it becomes something we used to have.  Now is the time to stop taking our loved ones for granted and start remembering how blessed we are to have them.  For all we know, they could be gone tomorrow.  Treasure them while you can and never forget that true happiness can be found by appreciating and thanking God for what we already have.